Do we really want our children to grow up believing not all couples are created equal?

June 14, 2012

We’ve raised No 1 Son to believe that ALL people are equal, regardless of sex, colour, disability, sexual orientation or religion.

I make an effort to understand different points of view, really I do. But when it comes to people objecting to gay marriage, I’m afraid my tolerance threshold becomes severely tested.

Marriage isn’t something I’ve ever felt particularly strongly about – I get why people do it, I understand the appeal of a wedding ceremony and that some people want the world to know how they feel about each other, but I don’t believe you need a slip of paper as proof of a committed relationship.

However, I don’t believe anyone has the right to tell someone they shouldn’t get married. If someone is religious and they want to have a wedding in a church, I don’t believe they should be stopped from doing so simply because they are gay. And it makes me very sad to think that some children grow up believing the Church’s version of acceptability and tolerance.

As all parents know, children are like sponges. They soak up all the information they’re given.

Do we really want them growing up believing that only straight couples should be allowed to get married?


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  • Mamacook June 16, 2012 at 7:29 am

    Marriage is hard work and prone to break up. It feels like many heterosexual couples don’t want to get married or stay married sometimes. I think if some gay people want to marry then good on them.

    It’s just language anyway, what difference is it to a civil ceremony? If some churches are opposed then don’t conduct gay ceremonies. Simples.

  • MummyTravels June 14, 2012 at 5:45 pm

    The craziest part about it is that it all seems to come down to semantics – it’s fine for two people to make a lifelong commitment and call it a civil partnership, but not to say they’re married? However strongly I disagree with them, I do think churches (synagogues, mosques etc) should have the right not to marry people if they choose not to – they already do if you don’t follow their faith. But when mixed-sex couples can marry in register offices and civil venues, why on earth should it be a problem for same-sex couples to do that as well? If couples don’t want to marry, that’s entirely their decision – but if you do, I strongly feel you should be allowed to. Why would we want to prevent two people who love each other making a commitment in front of the world, just because we don’t like the word they use to describe that commitment?!

  • Crystal Jigsaw June 14, 2012 at 2:22 pm

    Totally agree with you. My religious beliefs conflict somewhat with the church of England so I don’t tend to get into debates about religion. But I must admit this has rattled my cage, too. It’s a disgrace that people are being discriminated against because they love someone of the same gender, and are being made to feel dirty and wrong because they want to make a marital commitment. The church should have no right to refuse a wedding in my humble opinion. Aren’t christians supposed to be loving, gentle and understanding people? They have a funny way of showing it.

    It seems to be the case that the church would rather see man and woman marry so they can reproduce naturally. What about couples who can’t have children? What about couples who don’t want to have children? And shouldn’t we be encouraged more to adopt when there are such a lot of babies and children in desperation of a good, loving family? Utter contradiction in my view. I realise there’s a lot more to it of course, but on the surface it’s more or less a bunch of religious nutters assuming they can dictate to the world how to live. Strong view I know, but what next? Wheelchairs not allowed in church? Children to sit in a separate room? They need to get a grip and wake up to the 21st century.

    CJ x

  • Sarah June 14, 2012 at 10:11 am

    Great headline, which I think cuts through the homophobic bile, waffle and poison and brings into sharp focus exactly what we should be asking yourselves. And asking of the Church which purports to represent this Great country.

  • Violets Diary June 14, 2012 at 9:49 am

    Brilliant post. One of the dictionary definitions of Marriage is about bringing together/ combining 2 different elements or people. It is not necessarily about opposite gender, religion etc. I respect people’s right to their religious beliefs, and hope that they would respect my right not to believe. I am married and make no secret of the fact that for us it was about celebrating our wish to commit to each other and wanting to share that with friends and family. I think it is about choice and I think it is so important to bring children up to respect and value the different life choices that people make.

  • Abbi Stewart June 14, 2012 at 9:14 am

    I’m not sure I would agree with getting rid of marriage altogether – people who believe in God and the church should be able to get married within their religion, just like Muslims or Hindus etc.

    I think it isn’t just about same sex couples getting married in churches, I think it is people that aren’t Christians or of that religion getting married in churches which feels a little wrong. You wouldn’t be able to get married in a mosque if you weren’t a Muslim, so it should be the same for churches.

    if same sex couples are part of the church, and their marriage is blessed by the leader of that church then maybe yes, they should be allowed to – but that should be down to each individual church.

    Same sex couples can have a civil partnership, which is the same as couples who marry in a civil ceremony. if it is just about the building you have the ceremony in, then I am sure there are many derelict or run down dis-used buildings which used to be churches or are similar to churches that could be renovated for civil ceremonies. It is taking your vows in front of a vicar before God that the church wedding is about, and that is what so many people disrespect these days – so many people just want the pretty church and don’t truly mean what they promise in a church ceremony.

  • Ellie June 14, 2012 at 8:52 am

    My personal viewpoint is that the institution of marriage has been proved to be effective for the stable raising of children. Marriage is still relevant for that reason. However, I do feel the Anglican church has to allow this. Lets face it, Henry VIII created this church as an expedient way to divorce Catherine!

    The fact that people are prepared to make a commitment in their relationship, regardless of their sexual orientation should ALWAYS be encouraged. Love & commitment make children thrive.

  • LQ June 14, 2012 at 8:14 am

    My views are that everyones rights should be the same but that marriage is a pointless institution. This is because many couples choose not to marry at all and still go on to have a family, and because marriage is all too easy to walk away from.

    Therefore, marriage should be abandoned completely and everyone will then be equal and making a commitment to a life partner will be a private decision and arrangement between two people. No state or church involvement.

    Forget the hypocrisy of vows and declarations which are all too easily broken. I make no distinction between people according to sexual orientation or any other silly categorisation, people are people – falliable,fickle and flawed. I embrace all this in others as Im that way myself lets just stop pretending that we are otherwise by making empty promises . [apologies for spelling/grammar cant seem to edit previous typing]