Dear High Street. How can I be three different dress sizes at once?

Don’t tell Man of the House, but I’ve been doing a fair bit *cough* of sales shopping over the past few weeks. Stuff I actually NEEDED, obvs, like my beautiful new pink coat, plus a couple of dresses for work. I’m very pleased with my bargains. But one thing that’s confusing me greatly is why I now have three different sizes hanging in my wardrobe: 12, 14, 16. They all fit, and they’re all from different stores, bought more or less at the same time. How can I be three different dress sizes at once?

The dress I bought last week from L.K. Bennett, for example (£275 reduced to £50, bargain!) is a size 16. At French Connection I’m a size 12. At Monsoon and M&S and the Gap I’m a 14 (and for that matter at Jaeger). New Year New Body means my weight is dropping, but only by 2lb or so a week. And anyway, I bought the size 16 dress AFTER the size 12 coat.

I’m not a particularly unusual shape – a cross between a classic hourglass/pear, big bust, hips and tummy, but smaller waist and narrow shoulders. But at the moment I have to take three sizes of every dress I try on in to the changing room to see which one fits best. Nuts. I know I’m not the only one who has this problem. So why on earth can’t the High Street get it together?