My father was a wonderful man. He was witty and charming and generous, a brilliant dad to me and my sister.
But he also found it impossible to be faithful.
He cheated on not just one wife, but two; both marriages destroyed by infidelity.
While he died prematurely from a massive heart attack (caused by smoking), I don’t doubt that the stress of having spent much of his adult life leading so many different lives played its part.
His parents were happily married for over 50 years, so it wasn’t learned behaviour. The only explanation I can give is that he joined the army at 14, and he was married for the first time at 19; perhaps he simply never really got the chance to grow up.
I suspect this is also why I was attracted to Man of the House, a what- you-see- is-what-you-get kind of guy; it’s also perhaps why I don’t like it if my offspring tells fibs – not even little white lies.
I’ve been thinking about men who tell lies a lot recently – mostly of course because the media has been dominated by them, or at least the idea of them, given we’re not supposed to know who most of them actually are.
I agree with Hugh Grant that if celebrities are trying to protect their families from press intrusion then super injunctions are probably justified; ultimately, if there are children involved, they should be protected from their (insert swearword of your choice) fathers’ philandering, however galling/titillating/gobsmacking we might find the sordid details of their sex lives .
And it doesn’t really surprise me that Arnold Schwarzenegger had been covering up an affair – and a child – for 10 years.
What interests me though is WHY some men seem to find it so easy to lie to their partners. Why do they do it? Is it simply because they can? Is it because they are afraid of the emotional fallout, they don’t want to rock the status quo? I can understand perhaps that they don’t want to throw a relationship away for a one-night stand. But wouldn’t it be better to simply not do it in the first place?
Or are they, ultimately, just little boys in a sweetshop, helping themselves to everything on offer and then stuffing it in their trousers so they don’t get caught? Are some men, in fact, simply just Natural Born Liars?
I’d love to hear your views.