And if I’m honest, that makes me a little sad.
I’ll spare you the gory details but suffice to say that having another baby is not an option. And knowing I don’t have control over my fertility is a difficult thing to come to terms with. I’m used to making decisions about all sorts of important things in my working life; but this is something I cannot control. It’s not that I had even wanted another baby – at least, I didn’t think I did. But not having the option, not having the choice, puts it in a different light.
Of course it makes the offspring even more precious – scarily precious. I have to really struggle with my Cotton Wool Syndrome and the Fear Of Something Happening, and it’s a daily internal battle.
On Friday, a colleague announced she is pregnant – with twins. This is fabulous news, and of course I’m so happy for her.
You hear so many stories of women losing babies. I know how lucky I am.
But still, it makes me a little sad.